let's talk

As a mother and a blog author, there are some tricky lines that I struggle to walk.  I value Marvelous Kiddo as a creative outlet and a place to commune with others, and I have always felt such warmth and love from my readers whenever I open up with the more personal posts.  However, as my kids get older and more independent I find myself needing to respect my children's privacy, autonomy, and dignity more than ever.  Opening up to an audience about the details of my parenting journey is not a priority when I dread committing the kind of overshare that would annoy or vex my children now or in the future.  And we all know the Internet is forever, so it's kind of heavy to think about ;)

Anyway, this ramble is just a lead-up to say that I do sometimes crave to just let it all hang out, to get into more personal, revealing conversation in this forum.  Sometimes I worry that by omitting much of the gritty reality of my daily life people get the wrong idea, or think that this space is unfeeling or too sanitized, or mistake my world for perfect.

Sometimes, along with the pretty breastfeeding art and the inspiring birth stories and the things i've culled from Pinterest, I just want to let people know that I totally have hella crappy days weeks.  That I feel like I yell too much.  That I feel guilty for being bored while tending to three little kids and a load of housework all of the time.  That I get too distracted by my phone/computer to really be present with my kids much of the time.  That I love reading blogs and at the same time I'm so sick of reading blogs.  That I made instant mac n cheese for dinner two times this week.  That the boys fight with each other so much.  That I often rely on shows and movies to entertain/pacify them so I can read or nurse the baby in peace or make a phone call or take a nap.  That I am really starting to think school might be a good option for us because the idea of homeschooling/unschooling this crazy house full of kiddos totally overwhelms me.  That I cleaned poop off the floor twice today already.

All along, I have purposefully stayed away from posting about certain hot-button parenting topics that are important to me entirely because I am wary of giving away too much about my kiddos when they never asked to be a part of this (circumcision, vaccination, two out of three of my personal birth stories -- those are just a few examples).

My intention has always been to blog from a place of positivity and to celebrate motherhood and femininity, but the truth of those things is so much fuller and richer when you delve into the dark, personal places too, right?  I want to go there, but I haven't figured out how yet -- not without giving away pieces of my family that are not entirely mine to give away.  How can I do both?  I'm not sure.

I'm saying all this now not because I have any answers, but because I have been feeling a bit adrift in this space of late, and I am doing a lot of soul searching as to the future of this blog.  It is in a state of flux, and I am trying to define what I want it to be and how I want it to fit into my life.  I've been here for going on five years, and I have to say there are some days when I fantasize about just walking away.  I'm not there yet, but I just wanted to be open and honest about the struggle in the meantime.

I would love to hear your thoughts!  What do you struggle with most as a parent?  How do you manage to take care of your kids and still have time/energy for your own work or creative outlet?  If you have a blog about your family, do you ever worry about over-sharing?  Are you tired of blogs?  Are you tired of blogging?  Are you tired of this blog?  LOL, thanks in advance for indulging me in this conversation ;)

Also, maybe I'm just feeling this way because of MIR?

Cartoon via Jo.

deschamp on breastfeeding

Two takes on the Maternity theme, c. 1986 and 1993, 

by Jean-Marie Deschamp.

seeking participants for a new babywearing project

Have you been enjoying following along with the adventures detailed in The Sling Diaries?  I cannot believe how quickly the six-month project has been flying by.  The participants are currently on their fifth out of six monthly themes, and the beauty, fun, adventure, and love that their entries have documented thus far has been so rewarding to witness.

Does babywearing have a special place in your heart and life?  Would you like to be considered as a participant in a future iteration of The Sling Diaries?  If so, drop me a line -- I would love to hear from you!

Thanks, and be sure not to miss the upcoming posts, unfolding over the next several weeks.  You can follow along on FB and Pinterest.

Above photo from Mary Catherine's Exploration post.

a tumblr for your monday

 Just fell head over heels for the gorgeous messy mix 

over at Erica Tanov's Tumblr...

Leave a comment with your favorite Tumblr, won't you?

4 months, today!

Sheesh, did that ever go by fast!

aron on breastfeeding

Mother Nursing Her Child by Kalman Aron

my top 5 tips for visiting the american museum of natural history

The American Museum of Natural History is one of my favorite places in NYC and we used to go there all the time when we lived on The Upper West Side, so I was excited and honored when my friend Ashley asked me for advice on visiting with kiddos.  Head over to Ashley's blog, Hither & Thither, to read my top 5 tips and see the most adorable pics of her son, Hudson, touring the exhibits for the first time.


Thanks for having me, Ashley!

happy weekend links

Here are some fun clicks for your weekend:

A great, non-violent, and oh-so-rad alternative to
the traditional Army Guy toy

The 20 Most Beautiful Bookstores in the World 

On a related note, this made me laugh so hard
(thanks, Tiffany and Bianca!)

Love the cowgirl mentality and e.e. cummings' words on risk

The Dior 2012 AW haute couture show installation made me gasp

A most awesome guide to kid chairs

I want this print and this tee-shirt

Birthing from love: a declaration

Enjoy!

XOXO,

Leigh

Photo via ApartmentTherapy

black venus

Stunningly gorgeous portraits by Maxim Vakhovskiy, from his Black Venus project.  Via Outlaw Midwives.

birth story of the week: welcoming darcy

My friend Georgia sent me this lovely little birth film she recently put together.  I love how well the beauty and emotion of the event are captured wordlessly, and I wanted to share it with you.  My favorite part is seeing a laboring mama and papa walking on the beach, experiencing waves both inside and out.  So gorgeous!

little warrior

How completely adorbs are these pint-sized, suspender-ed jodhpers by Little Warrior?  Love 'em.

Discovered via The Mini Social.  If you run, you can still nab a pair before the mega-sale ends!

marks on breastfeeding

Mother Breastfeeding Baby (3-6 Months) In Bed, by George Marks.

Prints available here.

down the shore, and a goodbye

Yesterday, my sister and I took the kids "down the shore" as they say here in Jersey. The jaunt was pretty close to the definition of Summertime bliss.

However, there was a strong side of bittersweetness to the day: my sister left town tonight to begin her new and exciting life in Ohio.  (She had been living with us since Christmas).

We will miss her dearly!

We are very grateful for the months we've shared with her.

Jackson and Walker and Hazel will no longer have their athletic, fun-loving Aunt around to teach them how to do summersaults and cartwheels.  I will no longer have someone with whom to share a bottle of wine over the latest Bachelorette episode.  Our household consumption of Nutella will probably go way down :(

Most of all, we will all have to seriously adjust to the strangeness of not having Erin's sweet, funny, kind energy in the house.  We love her so!  

We definitely feel the part of our family that is missing tonight.  But we couldn't be happier or more proud of Erin for boldly chasing her dreams, and making them come true.  She is an inspiration!

First and second photos by Erin, the rest by yours truly.

the hair i want right now

Uh huh.

From Box No. 216 via Maegan.

ten and nine

Ten years ago today Taro proposed to me during a hike along the Na Pali Coast in Hawaii.  Nine years ago today we got married!  I can't believe how fast the years have flown, and how much our hearts have grown.

The words we spoke during our ceremony ring even truer now: forever isn't long enough to be together when you've found the person that completes you.

yes

I just read this poem on my friend Nancy's amazing blog.  It struck a chord with me and really expresses how I'm feeling on this 4th of July -- this day when we reflect on independence, hope, and history -- so I wanted to share it here. It is entitled, Sometimes:

Sometimes things don't go, after all,

from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel

faces down frost, green thrives, the crops don't fail,

sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war,

elect an honest man, decide they care

enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.

Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go

amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.

The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow

that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you.

By Sheenagh Pugh

Thank you, Nancy!

Painting: Rising Sun by Paul Klee 

tuesday giveaway: moon over maize

Today, Marvelous Kiddo Sponsor, Moon Over Maize is offering one lucky reader a $75 gift certificate to their beautiful shop!  Jewelry designer Monica Grover creates artisan jewelry using a variety of techniques and materials including sterling silver, fine silver, gold and brass.  Her love of natural stones in all shapes, sizes and colors combines with her eye for gorgeous detail and the result is a collection that is both earthy and elegant -- pieces that look oh-so-positively-boho and now, and that you will also return to for years to come.

Visit the shop, like Moon Over Maize on Facebook, and leave a comment on this post mentioning your favorite piece.  I'll announce the winner on Friday.  Thanks, and good luck!

thora arnorsdottir for president

That beaming, breastfeeding mama on the left is Thora Arnorsdottir and she is the candidate favored to win Iceland's upcoming vote for President!  The 37-year-old mother of three and stepmother of three more gave birth to her youngest just over a month ago, and jumped into the political race when she was seven months pregnant.  She is running as the challenger to male incumbent Olafur Ragnar Grimsson, who has been in power for 16 years.  Should she win the office, Arnorsdottir's partner plans to become a stay-at-home dad for the duration of her term.  

I urge you to watch this wonderful BBC interview with Arnorsdottir, conducted on the edge of her bed, while she nurses her newborn.  I think I have a new feminist heroine.  Also, I want to move to Iceland, which seems waaaaay ahead of the curve for something like this to be happening. On second thought, I think it's us who are behind the curve -- imagining a similar situation unfolding in our own country seems like wild fantasy.  Sad.

UPDATE:  Thanks to Riki for pointing out that the election actually happened two days ago, with Arnorsdottir receiving 34.8% of the vote and conceeding to Grimsson.  Read more here.

On a related note, I'm loving Joanna's latest series of posts about work, motherhood, and balance.  Check it out.

international babywearing conference: there and back again

Pardon the lack of posting -- we've been traveling!  This past week I attended the International Babywearing Conference in Washington, DC.  It was our first long car ride/road trip as a family, but the event was well worth braving the confinement of the car, and -- once we arrived -- 100+ degree temps coupled with insanely turbulent midnight thunderstorms.  

We set out on our journey well-stocked with things to munch on (the Roasted Seaweed snacks were inhaled within minutes), songs (the 2009 and 2012 Birth Mixes via iPod), and of course Mad Libs (Outer Space-themed).  We arrived in DC none the worse for wear, and in good spirits, the kids having slept for over half the trip!

I loved being at the conference (I took Hazel along with me each day while the boys hung out with Grandma, who lives in the area).  It was so cool to be surrounded by babywearing families and knowledgeable experts on everything from breastfeeding to cloth diapering to the history and science of  baby carriers.  I took the above photo while sitting in on a class called Psychological Outcomes of Babywearing which spanned primate research, child development, attachment theory, brain development research and the effects of neurotransmitters and hormones on the attachment and development process and included a review of the current scientific findings on the psychological effects of baby carrying and skin-to-skin contact in full-term infants. Taught by Dr. Henrick Norholt of Copenhagen, Denmark, it was utterly fascinating, and I could have listened for much longer than the allotted hour.  Beyond the fact that Dr. Norholt presented incredibly convincing scientific research on the benefits of babywearing, it was just so darn cool to see a University lecture hall filled to the brim with mamas and their nurslings (many of whom were standing in the aisles rhythmically bouncing, taking notes on smartphones while he spoke).

Another class I loved was called The Culture of Babywearing, which delved into how time, place, climate and human behavior influence babywearing tools and practices.  It was so much fun to be able to see beautiful examples of traditional carriers from an array of different cultures from an Inuit Amautik to a West African Kanga to a Welsh shawl, among others.  It spoke to my inner Anthropologist in a big way.  In Free Form Wrapping it was a delight to be in a room filled with parents sharing ideas and geeking out over the nuances of different improvised wrap techniques.  I learned valuable information about the power of our external nervous system in Touch: The Mother of All Senses, and amazing tips for braving hot and cold temperatures in Extreme Weather Babywearing.  For every class I took there were several others I hated to miss (I was so bummed to have to choose between Belly Dance With Baby and The Culture of Babywearing, let me tell you!)

The whole thing left me longing for more.  With only a couple hundred attendees, I have a feeling that there is a huge population of babywearing devotees, novices, and even the carrier-curious that were not present at this year's conference who would benefit greatly from the class offerings and sense of community.  I look forward to attending in the future and helping to spread the word in the meantime!

If you're reading this now and are someone who practices babywearing, I'm wondering: how did you get started?  Have you ever taken a class on babywearing or attended a babywearing support group?  Would you attend a babywearing conference?  I'd love to know your thoughts!